Also this month:

* Extension Specialist Offers Cost-Saving Holiday Meal Tips

* McAlpin Moderates Live National Videoconference

* Sound Financial Health Improves Lives

* NCDA&CS Awards NC A&T Environmental Safety Grant

* O'Sullivan Wins Cooperative Extension's R. E. Jones Award

Other News Links:

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Mitch Arnold, news editor

"During the holiday season, the 'presence' of parents is as important as the presents they give," says Jean Baldwin, a family life and human development specialist with the North Carolina A&T Cooperative Extension Program.

"Sometimes we focus too much on the material aspects of the holidays," say Baldwin. "Instead, the holidays can be used to spend time with our children and to teach them the importance of such things as cooperation and appreciation for what they have, versus what they want to have."

To enhance a child's appreciation of what they have or what they have been given, Baldwin recommends that both parents and children consider becoming involved in some type of volunteer activity.

"Volunteering to help others who are less fortunate can make us feel better about ourselves and our own life circumstances," says Baldwin.

When it comes to gift-giving, Baldwin recommends that parents involve their children in all aspects of the process.

"Children need to understand what goes into giving a gift," says Baldwin. "This means that they should earn at least some of the money they spend, or learn how to make inexpensive gifts."

Baldwin recommends that parents fund only part of their child's gift-giving budget, and that options be presented to them to earn money for the rest. An example she gives is to let children who don't have part-time jobs away from home identify household tasks beyond their normal duties, and then propose a fee for doing them. In this way, parents receive much needed help around the house, and children have put some time and effort behind their gift.

Since the holiday season is sometimes one of undue stress, Baldwin recommends that parents give themselves a break and add to the time they spend with their children by involving the children in activities such as house decorating, cooking and other holiday preparations.

"Parents sometimes put a lot of stress on themselves in preparing for the holidays," says Baldwin. "Instead of trying to do everything themselves and sacrificing time with their family, parents should remember that children are often ready and willing to help out during special times."

Of course, Baldwin acknowledges, children often want more expensive gifts than parents are able to afford. For these times, Baldwin suggests parents:

• communicate the difference between wanting and needing something.
  
• teach children that one of life's lessons is that they can't always have what they want.
  
• have each child identify one special gift they want to receive, and try to purchase that gift for the child.
  
• present children with IOU tickets for outings of their choice during the new year (this can help defer some of the holiday budget crunch).

"Children should learn that thought and effort go into every gift, so each and every gift they receive is special, even if it is something they would not have selected for themselves," says Baldwin.

"If parents take time to communicate with their children during the holiday season, they can do much to ensure that their children not only have a pleasant holiday, but that they also learn a little bit about communication, decision-making and cooperation along the way," states Baldwin.

For more information, please contact Jean Baldwin, NC A&T's Cooperative Extension Program, (910) 334-7956.