I have to admit, though, I did feel a little embarrassed about my situation with this girl. All I talked about since I met her was her. All my friends felt I was crazy. And I'd respond "I am - for her." She was the numero uno. Point blank. And there was nothing else that needed to be said other than, "Cool."

We never intended to develop a relationship, until one day I just felt beyond disrespected. After only meeting two months, I posed a question upon her. There's some kind of medication she takes for cramps that she calls the "truth serim" and if I had a question, she said that was the time to ask because she cannot tell a lie when she takes it. She just warned me not to ask anything I didn't really want to know. So, wanting to know, I asked how many other guys had she slept with since meeting me two months ago. She replied, "Five."

There goes my composure. But no need to act like a child about it. We're both grown adults doing what grown adults do. She just happened to be doing a lot more doing than I expected. Being the arrogant male species I am, I was determined to be the one, out of the many men she was seeing, that came out on top. I was the one she was going to want to spend life with.

For Thanksgiving, she came down to Fayetteville and met my mom and brother. We went to the movies together, but nothing really spectacular happened. When I came back to Greensboro, though, she and I started spending a lot of time together. I spent pretty much every night at her house. Seven days a week. There's just something about the feeling of waking up with a woman in your arms. But, it's a funny feeling waking up to two children getting ready for school. It was something I welcomed, though. I love the kids. I still don't know how they managed to wake up so early, so easily, so consistently every morning and not spit out one complaint.

She got a so-called breast examination her doctor friend gave her, also. Thinking I was still sleep one morning, she was speaking a bit too loud to one of her home girls. She didn't know I heard her and asked later if she and her doctor friend ever made any type of physical contact. Of course, she replied, "no." And when I asked about the breast examination she broadcast around the house that morning, she didn't see why it wasn't your typical breast examination. Not in the living room at night when the kids are sent to bed.

One night, we were supposed to go grocery shopping together. She'd buy the food; I'd cook it. I showed up around 11 p.m. that night, trying to figure out what she was waiting on, and her doctor friend was there. And instead of introducing me to this mysterious doctor friend, she sent me on my way.

Right before Christmas, I took the children out to the McDonald's Playplace while she did Christmas shopping. Later that night, we were all supposed to go skating and then I'd wrap the presents. Instead, she went to this birthday party of one of her kid's friends and eventually, she went skating, but didn't call me. My paranoia asked if her doctor friend was there - he was, coincidentally. As was her sister and her kids and her best friend and her nieces or nephews - coincidentally.

As we got closer to Christmas, I found a condom wrapper in her room. She claimed she was testing different condoms for their strength. I pretended to not understood why she'd only test one brand, one at a time. She played it off pretty well until I found another one about a week later. Same story. Same lie.

For Christmas, we took a few pictures together . There were two in particular I liked. One was her by the Christmas tree and the other was of her standing at the bottom of the stair case with her mouth open, surprised I was taking the picture. Soon afterwards, the pictures disappeared. I kept asking for the pictures back, but she supposedly gave them to her one of her home girls, who when I asked about them, had no idea what I was talking about. She just knew she'd get them back from her girl and give htem to me, but she didn't realize I had the negatives. So much for that idea.

And for the cherry on top, she wanted me to read this e-mail one day one of her other male friends sent her. He sends her e-mail frequently, but she rarely reads them. She asked me to read this one aloud to her one day, and to her surprise, she didn't realize what he'd have to say. All this time, he was just someone who would help with the bills, the kids and being that good friend she needed. She just swore they had never had sex. Not with this guy. Not until he wrote how much he missed having sex with her in the e-mail.

And in it, whatever it was, she was devastated. She was beyond hurt he'd do such a thing and just kept talking about how much in disbelief she was. Me - skeptical as always. She seemed a bit too hurt for him to have read some e-mail about her day at work or how the kids were doing. Obviously, it was something he had no business knowing.

And since she wouldn't share it with me, I had no business knowing either. But, the journalist in me had to know. So, I checked it myself. And if she's reading this, I'm sure she'll be knocking on my door with the pistol trying to put a bullet in me, but she can't hurt me any more than what she already has.

Briefly, there was e-mails between her and her doctor friend speaking about their "extra curricular activities." They talked about how it was his first time doing it doggie style. And she mentioned that on the days he would be fasting, his "breath isn't too tight." All in all, she wasn't testing the strength of those condoms with a razor blade.

That put everything into perspective.

I may not be with this girl today, but I definitely feel like I came out the victor. It may be a pyrrhic victory, but nonetheless, a victory. I came out that battle wiser. I came out with more knowledge about who I am than when I went into it. Actually, I went in with an arrogant agenda and came out more honest and respectful of relationships.

I turn 25 in May. I still have decades to go to find the right one for me. I thought she was the one, but I have no regrets that she isn't. I hope she and the doctor friend are enjoying their spontaneous marriage. Yeah, they got married. I hope she gives the doctor friend more respect than she gave me. I hope she's honest with him because relationships just can't survive off half-truths, dishonesty and spiteful lies. As she would always say to me, the truth always seems to find a way to come out.

Me? I'll be all right. See, I wear my purple heart with pride.