And then she enters into the room.

So young, so naive
Ever since I was li'l kid, I dreamed of the day I would find romance. I daydreamed about it, about with who, about how we'd meet, about how I would be complete. I can see my friend Betty Bell cringe in reading that last line about how naive I was thinking I needed someone else to complete me.

I don't know when it started, but at a very young age, I made it my purpose to seek the one and embellish her with an unconditional love that would even make Arjumand Banu Begam jealous. It became obvious to me that without my soulmate, my significant other, or (as my friend 2-3 would say) my Tonka Toy, I would have no purpose of this blessed earth.

As I traveled my path to romance, reality chipped away at my cultlike dedication to the notion of romance makes man complete. One relationship after another came to a close no matter how much energy I put into it. Sometimes I simply realized she wasn't the one for me; other times she realized I wasn't the one for her. Everytime I moved forward in life with a determination to make the next one stronger. I poured everything into every next relationship, but it always ended the same. Sometimes, it never even got started.

Always the optimist I am, I continued to find the one. It never dawned on me there were roughly 28 the ones. I just kept giving more to the next one and the next one and on and on and...

A bit older, but a lot dumber
I met her at a busstop, waiting for bus 10 to take us both downtown. She was on her way to work; me, on my way home. I moved downtown Atlanta to get away from memories that lingered in Marietta where the one I fell in love with still lived. Hattina Washington took a good chunk out of my confidence that I would find love. And what itty-bitty pieces were left were cruhed by the Jamaican Debbie Robinson, the elusive Taffeta Almond and the absolutely gorgeous Charlie Darrien.

I struck conversation with this Kenyan girl, my eye caught by her body, my attention captured by her accent, my imagination caught by her smile. Could she be...? Nah!

We began seeing each other, meeting at a free jazz concert at Centennial Park, having lunch at Front Page News, shooting pictures in the park, doing karaoke at Sidelines, watching Me, Myself and Irene and lounging together a lot at her pad.

Eventually she confessed that she was seeing someone else, but by then, we both developed those naive feelings of romance. Life became a movie, and I knew this one was going to have a happily ever after ending. I just knew because I paid my dues. I deserved this.

Our relationship became extremely sketchy. One minute she's with me; the next she's with him; then going out to Buckhead with me; then to church with him. I was holding on like on a rollercoaster, knowing it eventually settles down and I can relax and say the experiene was worth the wait.

So she walks back into the room, but she doesn't look like she's preparing to go to the movies. Instead, she peppers me with the statement, "I have something to tell you." And just like that, she's pregnant. Dumbfounded, knowing it wasn't mine, I was processing in the background the results if I decided to stick my foot in her ass or if I should finish the project of completing me.

Understanding that I needed another minute to figure out my next move, the universe granted me some time to myself by having her say she was about to leave and go to church with him, who was waiting out in the parking lot. Thats is the epitome of kick him while he's down.

And just as I was regaining my balance, she came back from church saying she was engaged.

Stabbing the hornet's nest
It's one thing to wake up from a nap to find yor girlfriend pregnant and engaged to another man. It's another not to take a cue and pursue the relationship with a vengeance.

What was running through my mind? Obviously not common sense. Keeping the humiliation at a minimum, I jump to the part of the story when I'm about to leave for my 10-year high school reunion. In the weeks prior, she and I were engaged. I was reading a book about coping with your pregnant significant other (the book did not discriminate if it was your child or not) and sending emails to every soul I ever met with an email address announcing my intentions to get married November 26, 2002.

The night before leaving for home, I stop by her house to present to her an engagement ring. When I was to return, life was going to be different. If she thought she liked what she saw in me then, wait until I was completed. I was going to show the world that true romance did indeed exist.

With the presentation of the ring, she and I were going to be the new definition of overcoming obstacles to achieve your goals. We would show the world that true love was attainable regardless of the hostile environment thrown at us. We would show the world, well, exactly how foolish I was.

Humility, awaited me that night before my reunion. Not only did she not accept the ring, she asked that I return and not look for her hand. She and I were not going to wed; we weren;t even going to be friends.

I refuse to lose
It's so funny when I recll this story because even I am amazed at how many attempts I made to make it right. We were back together again, and I was doing everything to keep my dignity together. I could hear the murmurs from my friends, see the shaking of their heads and the sympathy in their eyes. But they could see the pride in my heart. She was chosen to be my one. And I will fight tooth and nail until I'm in the hospital to prove it.

There we were, living in my 15th story high-rise apartment, just the three of us: me, her and his child.

I get a call one day from her saying she was having mdeical issues and needed to go the hospital. When I got off hours later, I called around to every hospital in the area, frantically trying to find my girlfriend. When I finally located where she was, I kept calling her room, but there was no answer. Frustrated, I called my good friend, Mitch Koues, who braved a torrential thunderstorm to take me to see her. Thank the universe he didn't stick around to witness this scene off of ER.

I step into her room and come face-to-face with, well, reality. There he was, at her side in her weakest moment. While her fiance, which would be me for the third time, worried about her health, she was hiding away in the hospital with that other guy. The one who only wantd some ass for his birthday. The one who cared more about fingerprints on his care than her comfort. The one who sported her like a trophy at church and a child at home. The one whose child I was preparing to raise.

Can you believe we continued to work on the relationship? And can you believe I didn't see the umpteenth breakup coming? And can you believe I was sad that it happened?

Well, I came home one night, to a locked door. She wasn't home. She wasn't at her home. I knew where to find her but questioned if I should call him on his cell phone to talk to her. Yeah, I had his number, but I didn't know why I did. Perhaps it was the universe's way of delivering the last message to me. She sat in the car with him, on his phone, with his child, wearing his engagement ring, telling his foe that we would never see each other again.

After the initial shock wore off, days later, I go to work and my co-workers are mum like someone just got fired. Waiting for me were my keys, some clothes and the engagement ring I bought her that she never ever wore but once.

Oh what the hell?
Yes, I am embarrassed by this story. Yes, I left out a lot of more incriminating details to show my stupidity. Yes, I finally got the picture.

Life has a funny way of teaching us lessons. I found out leprechauns didn't exist after all the kids in the neighborhood ridiculed me for digging for a four-leaf clover hoping to find this mythical creature to take me to a pot of gold. I realized Santa Claus didn't exist when I found the presents hidden in the closet before the 25th of December. I learned the tooth fairy was a fake. I learned the Easter Bunny can't lay eggs. I learned Superman was a comic book. I learned the boogyman didn't live in my closet. I learned romance was a fiction story, but not until I undermined my existence thinking my romance with Josephine Njambi Kiongera would make me complete.